Why?

I do not know why.. Everytime i feel emo and all, i will start to blog.. I guess this is the 3rd blog i have created. Why I emo? I cannot understand myself at all.. Why must  I everytime lost the person I love the most 1st only i will start regretting after that. One day, I saw my most precious person holding another person's hand.. I felt a fucking hard object just stab through my heart.. I'm not blaming her for that because it's been 3 months we have been seperated. Where have I been? What did i do? I only concentrate on my studies. Why did I even say breakup to her when I dont meant it? I don't want to break up, is just because when i saw the thing that i shouldn't see, i felt so sad and jealous. I couldn't control my emotions. And I said BREAK UP.. If I had a change to rewind, I would like to turn back time and take back my words. I guess is too late for me already because she had found another 1.. Everytime i think of her and him, i couldn't simply.. my mind start to imagining stuff .. You got it? To tell you the truth, I dont think i call myself a MAN, I cried multiple of times few days..  I watch the video I made, I've cried.. Memories kept on flashing back and back,,I feel like SHOUTING, I MISS YOU SO MUCH.. AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH .. PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME ALONE.. I really do love you a lot.. You are my first and always tell myself I want you to be my last.. I miss calling you BIE, Baby , zhu zhu .. Haiz.. I miss every moment with you.. Seriously .. You are like my entire world already.. You know what was my wish for my every 24 november birthday? I always wish that , I want to be with you forever.. Throughout these years, that was my wish.. My wish never came true.. And 7 more days is my birthday again..

   I feel like it's going to take very long for me to forget you.. I dont want to forget you anyway.. I want you to always be with me and by myside..I want to grow old with you.. Hug you in my arms when you are cold..

But is over.. Just hope i have chance again to be with you if Fate really bring us back again.. I just know that in my heart , very rare girls can replace you in my heart.. Like i said, you are one in the million to me.. Whatever it is, I just hope he will treat you the best and never hurt you like how i did.. Saying this hurts me so much but i still have to say it.

Once again, I want to tell everyone that read my blog that, I love you.. I love you , Charene Tea. I love you Tea Pei Nee.. I love you , biie.. I love you , I love you and I will always love you. If fate brought us back again, I want it to be eternity / forever.

I know I promise i won't be sad.. But sometimes emotion cannot be control.. All of sudden, i went to watch the video and sing along with it till the rivers flowing down my face .. That's all i want to say.. Have to concentrate on my studies too :) Cheers

The ring is the only thing i left.. I'll wear it everyday, as if it was you, where you are always be with me.. I will take care of this ring and protect it , because its the only left memory i have with you.. :) Thus, this ring represent YOU.. :)